OAN’s Brooke Mallory
2:51 PM – Friday, June 7, 2024
The now-deceased transgender killer Audrey Hale wrote in the weeks leading up to her deadly attack on Nashville’s Covenant Christian School last year, mentioning her “imaginary penis” and how she would “kill” to receive puberty blockers.
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Hale was a biological woman who identified as a transgender man.
Four dozen pages of Hale’s writings, which provided insight into her reasons for fatally shooting six people at the elementary school in March 2023, were retrieved by The Tennessee Star outlet.
Hale spoke on her feelings of resentment toward her parents, how much she despised her upbringing as a devout Christian, and how her suffering stemmed from the lack of access to hormone blockers.
The controversial rantings, commonly known as Hale’s “manifesto,” have generated debate. Many claim that government officials withheld them because they feared it would harm the trans community.
The manifesto has now been made public and helps to understand why the 28-year-old artist, who went by the name “Aiden,” killed three adults and three nine-year-old’s when she opened fire on the Tennessee school before being slain by brave responding law enforcement.
As per The Star outlet, Hale’s notebook entries begin with the heading ‘My Imaginary Penis’ and feature an unpolished illustration.
“My penis exists in my head. I swear to god I’m a male,” Hale wrote.
She also wrote about her struggles with gender dysphoria and her desire to have a penis so that she could have sexual intercourse with a woman.
Hale described how writing “Aiden,” her preferred male name, on an application for a delivery job caused problems for the company’s background check.
Additionally, Hale noted that growing up as a girl was “torture,” and she expressed that she was scared her high school peers would call her derogatory names like ‘dyke or a f*****.”
Later, Hale writes about how as soon as she discovered transgenderism in her early 20s, everything changed for the better.
“I finally found the answer — that changing one’s gender is possible,” Hale wrote.
However, Hale’s mother was not too keen on the idea of her “switching” genders, she goes on to say.
“What she believes, how she grew up, conservatively, and that LGBTQ — especially transgender — was an enigma, nearly non-existent,” Hale added.
“I hate parental views; how my mom sees me as a daughter — and she’d not bear to want to lose that daughter because a son would be the death of Audrey.”
When discussing the emergence of puberty blockers in the 2010s, Hale used strong words.
“I’d kill to have those resources,” wrote Hale. “2007 was the birth of puberty blockers and a newfound discovery for treatment of non-conforming transgender children.”
However, the shooter expressed sadness that by the time the drugs emerged, she had already gone through puberty.
She also wrote about how she used her stuffed animals to act out sexual situations in her fantasies of being a male seducing a woman.
“I can pretend to be them [and] do the things boys do [and] experience my boy self as Tony,” she continued.
She noted that Tony, her “stuffed boy doll,” “is like the boy I am in another form.”
Hale wrote about the hours she spent simulating sexual activity between Tony and another plush toy. She highlighted how she would even lose track of time while taking pictures of the stuffed animals’ simulated acts.
“God, I am such a pervert.” Hale writes. “I waste too much time in my fantasies.”
This journal entry was made just 16 days before Hale, armed with an “AR-15 military-style rifle, a 9 mm Kel-Tec SUB2000 pistol caliber carbine, and a 9 mm Smith and Wesson M&P Shield EZ 2.0 handgun,” raided the Covenant School, killing those in her path while wearing protective gear.
In addition, Hale made politically heated remarks regarding the rights of transgender individuals and gun owners.
“So now in America, it makes one a criminal to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary,” she wrote. “God, I hate those s***head politicians,” she added.
An anonymous source working in the investigation who provided proof of their job position gave the Star outlet access to the documents, which were found in Hale’s car after she left it outside the school.
Following the shooting, Nashville’s Metropolitan Police Chief John Drake announced that his department had found the gunman’s manifesto and hand-drawn maps in her vehicle, both of which will eventually be made public. However, the FBI and local police both eventually stated that the evidence shouldn’t be made public since it might jeopardize the ongoing investigation.
Three pages of notes that Hale had written before the shooting were released back in November. The notes disclosed Hale’s intention to shoot “white privileged cr*ckers” before killing herself.
“Today is the day. The day has finally come. I can’t believe it’s here. Don’t know how I was able to get this far but here I am.”
“I’m a little nervous but excited too, been excited for the past two weeks.”
“I’m ready … I hope my victims aren’t.”
“God let my wrath take over my anxiety. It might be 10 minutes tops. It might be 3-7. It’s gonna go quick. I hope I have a high death count. Ready to die,” she wrote, before heading to Covenant Christian school.
After responding police shot Hale, her clothing was covered in “handwritten words, drawings, and numbers,” according to an autopsy.
However, what was written on her clothing is unclear. The shooter also wrote the number “508407” on a plastic orange anklet that she was wearing.
Seven Nashville police officers were suspended following that leak as a result of an investigation into how the notes were made public.
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